I know that an update is long overdue, but for some reason blogging is the first thing I scrap from my To Do list when the days get busy or exhausting. And, in my 9th month of prgnancy, EVERYTHING is exhausting. This pregnancy has been remarkably more difficult than the first. A summer pregnancy is the pits, to put it kindly. I am hot, tired, cranky, and sore a LOT of the time. My poor husband. I didn’t even rip his face off when he said he “couldn’t wait to get his nice wife back.” I know baby. I want to be the nice wife again too. Hauling around 40 pounds of extra weight on a bad back, pinched sciatic nerves, in 100+ degree heat sent the “nice” me packing long ago.

Despite having done this all before, I have been harboring a lot of fears and anxieties about this pregnancy, delivery and the days that will follow. This makes sense because of a few factors: 1) my somewhat hellish first delivery, 2) the fact that this baby is also measuring large, 3) the fact that our lives are in a huge state of transition right now (lost job, new job for hubbs, new SAHM role for me, etc.) and 4) what life with 2 kids will be like vs. life with one. Oh, and 5) Little C’s head-first dive into the Terrible Twos.

A few of these anxieties were calmed during our doctor’s appointment today where I learned that baby is doing awesome, still measuring well, but not extreme, and that I am already dialating! In fact, I am dilated to the point now (at almost 37 weeks) that I was at when checking into the hospital with Little C after laboring 8 hours at home, overdue at 41 weeks. Yay! This is encouraging and points to a faster, smoother delivery and the possibility of an earlier delivery (which thrills me). I feel ready. As ready as I can be. Baby’s nursery is ready (I will share soon). Hospital bag is packed. The Plan is set (who goes, who stays, who watches Little C, etc.). Car seat is installed. Excitement over meeting Baby Deux is in full force.

My biggest concerns right now really center around Little C. His Terrible Twos have taken a bit of a break and he has been rather sweet, silly and super fun to be around. And now that my career has been put on hold (or whatever this is), we get to spend a lot more time together. I love him so much. When I gaze upon him, I cannot help but worry…”Will he know how much I really love him?” “How can I possibly love another son this much?” “How will I balance the two of them?” Plus so many other worries and uncertainties. I know this is all normal and that I will love them both, wholly and completely, but I guess I just don’t want to lose Little C as my BABY. I still call him “baby” all the time and it pains me that he won’t be anymore, he will be the big brother. There will be a new baby!

I guess it’s time to embrace the joy of that little boy growing up… Getting bigger, taller, smarter, learning new and exciting things, talking more and becoming more of a big boy. Both joy and pain co-exist when I think of this. I vastly underestimated the emotional vastness of a mother’s love for her son. But I could not imagine my life, or my heart, without it.

IMG_0080.JPG

July is coming to an end. Part of me can’t believe it and part of me is thrilled as we are one more month closer to the end of this wretchedly hot summer! On the plus side, we’ve been having some fun times in Grandma’s pool and playing in the sprinklers or water in our backyard and watching Little C get a little more comfortable in water… though this mama still wants to wait another year before swim lessons. Why does that thought just terrify me? Maybe because I was terrified of water for a very long time in my younger years.

With that, I leave you with my July faves and a reminder to enter my first giveaway before Thursday…

July 2014 Favorites

 

1.  I stumbled upon this SUPER cute app this month called Obaby and have been having so much fun with it. It’s very similar to the cult classic Beautiful Mess app, but tailored more towards mamas/family/kids/etc. This will come in so handy with the new baby coming. The cute “stickers” include not only milestones, but fun moments in the lives of your kids and even through pregnancy, birth and everything that comes after. The app does cost $4.99 but I felt it was worth it for a one-stop-shop to document memories. This is good if you are too lazy to get your “good camera” out but just want to capture quick moments on your phone.

2.  I promise [eventually] to stop commenting on how hot it is outside. One of the things that is making this heat more bearable is this Avene Thermal Spring Water mist. I can be seen spraying this on my face, neck and chest multiple times a day. In fact, when Little C sees me doing it, he will smile and point and say “me, me, me!” and I will give him a spritz too. :) It’s a wonderful way to quickly cool off, even for just a few seconds. I have the big ‘ol huge can but also love the mini cans for my purse, stroller, diaper bag, etc. I know it sounds just like water in a can (and essentially it is) but when it’s 100+ degrees outside, it’s like a mini beach vacation in a bottle.

3.  My biggest guilty pleasure for the last few months has been watching Orange is The New Black on Netflix. This quirky Netflix series is all the rage  right now and the show has earned multiple awards and nominations. I will say, this is my GUILTY pleasure as a LOT of the content is not suitable for young or even old viewers. Frankly, it’s not suitable for my conservative eyes either, BUT I have been drawn in by the characters and the overall concept and story. I really like original writing and what I mean by that is something NEW among all the remakes that are flooding Hollywood right now. I’m trying to stretch the episodes from Season 2 out to last the summer but I’ve been guilty of binge watching it a lot. “Just one more episode…”

4.  One of my many accessories addictions is to sunglasses. I LOVE a good pair of sunglasses. They don’t have to be expensive, and they don’t have to have a particular style. I just LOVE them. And, because the sun is shining like a piercing ball of hot lava lately, I cannot be outside without them. Lately, I’ve been loving and obsessed with aviator style sunglasses. I have a weird hang-up about my face and the way it’s shaped (which is a deep seated psychological problem that I will be plagued with for some time to come… so don’t even mention it to me), but I have found that even I can look at my face objectively and say that the aviator shape is flattering to my face. My favorite pair (until just a few days ago when my son broke them!) was honestly a cheapy pair from Old Navy of all places. I don’t see them online and I bought mine in store so I’m hoping they will still have a selection in store so I can replace them.

5.  I am not much for styling my hair, particularly in the summer, but I do like to keep my hair long and textured. The texture part is hard because I have VERY thick hair and it will usually pull any curl or wave out fairly easily and quickly – or – will turn into a giant ball of frizz in the right wrong conditions. Salt sprays are all the rage for wavy, textured hair, but I could never get over how dirty they made my hair feel (I’m not one for “messy” styles). Then I found Philip B Maui Wowie Beach Mist. It is a bit pricey, I know, but for my particular hair texture, I have found it light and easy to work with to create layers that “pop”, curls that easily define and separate and just a slight hold. Bonus, it also smells wonderful… like the beach, but not like suntan lotion and salt (ewwww).

Cheers to just a few more months of summer.

You Are my Sunshine Giveaway!Last call to enter to You Are my Sunshine sign giveaway! Click the thumbnail to the left before 7/31/14 and leave a comment to enter!

 

It’s always funny to see what topics come up among the company of women. They typically bend towards kids if you are a mom (which I used to find so annoying until I became one and now find it strangely soothing to commiserate with others), but also span through marriage, the upkeep of a home, friendship, fashion, etc. Though I’ve come to love these conversations, I continue to try and be careful about doling out unsolicited advice, especially on parenting. For one, I’m a parent of 1 and he is only 2 years old. I can in no way claim “expertise” on anything. But on the other point, I never want to be THAT PERSON who has an answer for everything or who claims their answer is the only solution.

A subject that has come up recently is the fact that my husband and I still rock our 2+ year old to sleep each night. Now, without getting into the many schools of thought on sleep training, this is apparently very bad as it doesn’t teach your kid to fall asleep on their own and this is apparently the end of the world and they will then spiral into all sorts of other hellish behaviour like thumb sucking and biting. They will then become the social pariahs of the playground, have no friends, end up on drugs and eventually become serial killers. Okay, so I broke off into a bit of exaggeration with that whole last bit, but really, I have been absolutely shocked at the reaction when I share this bit of news with people. You’d think I was committing some kind of abuse!

Sleep training has been fairly smooth for my husband and I. We tried various methods, including the whole cry it out method and frankly, I couldn’t handle it and neither could Little C. The theory that they will stop in 15-20 minutes and eventually surrender to bedtime immediately just did not come true for us, and I was a ball of anxiety and tears listening to that poor little boy scream for FAR LONGER than 20 minutes when all he wanted was daddy or mommy. I’ve heard the various schools of thought and yes, they do make sense to me. I just knew that it was not working for us.

The part that I have found particularly interesting is that no one has ever asked me WHY we rock him to sleep. The answer? BECAUSE WE LIKE TOO. Gasp! Can you believe it? But it’s truth. While daddy is usually on bedtime patrol, occasionally Little C wants mommy and mommy only, and bedtime for us is mostly blissful. There is something super fulfilling about holding his little body in our arms and lap, rocking quietly and watching his body slowly surrender and go limp with blissful sleep. We carefully lay him into his bed, kiss his warm little cheek and whisper “I love you. Night night.” And that’s it. Yes, it takes a good 15 minutes of our time but for us, it is precious and [rare] quiet time with our son.

I’ve been off bedtime patrol for a few months as being very pregnant, I can no longer get out of the chair with him in my arms without possible disaster. But tonight, daddy was out and I got to put that little one to sleep and wow, I loved every single minute of it. 23 minutes to be exact… but it only took that long because I didn’t have the heart to lay him down. I could not stop staring at his beautiful face. That baby soft skin with long, thick eyelashes resting sweetly on his little cheeks. I swear in that moment I saw this:

DSC_0007

As a mom, I think I will always see this when I look at that little boy. He will always be my baby. My precious little weeks-old baby. That’s why these bedtime rocking sessions and all the other little parenting decisions we make are so important to us. Maybe it doesn’t work for everyone and we don’t claim it to be perfect parents (note: those don’t exist) but we have such confidence in this aspect of our daily routine. It’s precious time that we just don’t want to give up. Things may change when baby #2 arrives and we are okay with that. For the time being, man, there is no joy like a sleeping baby on your chest.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 60 other followers