Though I feel so incredibly nervous posting an update like this, it could be a very exciting week for us… I’m nervous because I’ve said this before. I’ve thought this before. I’ve hoped this before.

This week could be the ground breaking on our house.

There. I said it. Phew! It felt good to say it.

Needless to say, this journey has been incredibly stressful. Stressful, frustrating, disappointing, anxious and difficult. We’ve been very patient these last 3 months, waiting through loads and loads of paperwork, “should be’s” “could be’s” and “almosts” and after one let down after another, we’ve tried not to let our heads fall too far. Though, I will admit to some very frustrated conversations with Ryan, a few tears, an anxiety attack or two, and a few thoughts of abandoning the whole thing. We’ve learned to laugh about it and become a TEAM and that’s the praise in all of this. We’ve even taken to joking about the use of the world “should” since we’ve heard it so much in this process.

A house that was supposed to be started months ago is still a dream, still just a piece of paper with a site plan and still just a massive deposit from our bank account. It’s gotten harder and harder to tell people we’re building our first home when we have nothing to show for it, and I know several people who have been dying to ask about the progress but are scared that my feelings will be hurt when I say, “We’re still waiting. Nothing yet.”

This week, shovels may actually pierce the ground where our future house will sit in a neighborhood that will be OURS, and that is too exciting to express. Our dream will become a reality. On February 11th, I may be able to point at a hole in the ground and say, “that’s going to be our home!” And I WANT to be excited about it, instead of tired, depressed, angry and defeated… which is frankly how I’ve felt the past few weeks.

I wonder if it’s too early to start shopping for a Welcome mat?!

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