Today was a bad day.
Baby B was inconsolable, whiny, and spazy most of the day. He didn’t want to be held. He didn’t want to be put down. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to sleep. He didn’t want to play. He didn’t want to not play (and I know this particular statement makes no sense, but hey, sometimes babies don’t make sense). He wanted to thrash and scratch and scream and whine. Frankly, by lunchtime I was cursing my very existence on this planet and simultaneously celebrating that that little monster finally surrendered to a nap. And then, there was that moment where I pondered posting my woes on Facebook and had to physically halt myself from picking up my smartphone. Stop. Wait. Think it through.
Because I knew what the resounding response to my vent-session would be. Well-meaning friends, family and fellow-mommies would spout of the joys of motherhood and how time goes by so fast and how I should treasure the good with the bad, or just take a deep breath and keep going, or even some perfectly sweet bible verse or inspirational meme meant to warm my heart and calm my nerves. It’s not the I don’t truly appreciate these sentiments and words from those who have been, or are in the trenches of motherhood with me (some days, I’m the one posting them!). But… some days…
Just let me have bad day!
Some days motherhood is NOT pretty.
Some days it is downright UGLY.
And that is okay. I need to know that it’s okay. I need to know that I’m normal. I need to feel like hiding in the bathroom for a few moments with a lump in my throat and fists clenched in frustration is just fine. I need people to be REAL with me so that I don’t feel like a massive failure every day. Can we please do that, as moms? As friends? I don’t need to be reminded of time going by quickly or better days ahead. In my heart of hearts, I KNOW that this is just a bad day among many glorious and truly joyful days with my kids. I know too that the joyful ones will pour over these nasty ones and make them just a faint memory in time.
I need someone to just say “Amen, mama!”
Buy me a stiff margarita and big bowl of chips.
Or, pat me on the back, give me an awkward side-hug and say, “Word. I’m right there with you sister.”
Or, [sarcastic mommies will only get this], shout out with me “Kids suck!”
Because sometimes they do.
This doesn’t make me a bad mom. This doesn’t mean that I don’t completely love and adore my children. This doesn’t mean I don’t love being a mom. This doesn’t mean I’m a mess. This doesn’t mean I don’t see the value of this time as a SAHM. All it means is, this day, this one right here. It’s been a tough one. And it’s okay.
Just let me have a bad day.
And pour me that margarita.