The weather is a bit cooler. The leaves are just starting to turn. We’ve seen actual rain hit the ground in the last few weeks. And today, it’s November 1st. I’m not the world’s hugest fan of fall. You won’t see me going crazy for pumpkin spice lattes and sweater-weather. I do however, enjoy the change of the seasons. It feels like a chance for something new and different. A do-over if you please. And that is precisely what is needed right now.
To put on my less-than-eloquent-face, October was “the ultimate suck” when it comes to months this year. There was too much death and loss. Too much disappointment and bad news. Too much illness. Just too much to bear. When people ask my how I’m doing and I say “I’m tired,” I don’t mean that I could use a short nap or an hour of quiet time. I mean I’m tired to my bones. Not just physically tired, but mentally, spiritually and emotionally tired. Being an adult feels very overrated, especially when life has been so very heavy.
Do you ever just get tired of being responsible?
I do. I’ve just recently realized what a deep introvert I am. And right now, my soul is craving time by myself. Time to sort through all of the “yuck” that has happened lately and how I’m going to handle the “yuck” that is sure to come. Also a time to rebuild hope and goals for the future. Time to do something truly fun and restoring. Time to just take a break and be responsible only for the betterment of me. And, permission to do so without being labeled selfish. Why do we feel that way, as moms? That if we want to do just the smallest thing for ourselves (like a pedicure), we fear that we will be labeled selfish? There is a reason there is the saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life” but I feel like there should be one for motherhood too… “Happy Mama, a lot less drama”?
In all seriousness, I am grateful to see the signs of fall around us, and an opportunity for change. For newness. My soul could use some change right now and the nurturing of a new season.
Be well, friends.